"Most wonderful time of the year" Newsletter

Welcome to the Guiding Mindset!

And our very first newsletter. We're so excited to connect to support you on your parenting journey with tips and tools, courses, and community. Check out the links to Follow Us on various social media platforms, subscribe to our Newsletter, and keep an eye on the website as we continue to grow and expand our content. We’re so thrilled you’re here!

As we move into this “most wonderful time of the year,” we're so excited to be offering a special course to support you during the holidays, “Navigating the Holiday Frenzy.”  This course offers practical solutions to make this season one of peace and joy for parents and children alike.

Pro Tip of the Month:

Outsmart the Gimmies

Does your child suffer from “The Gimmies” during the holidays?! Is walking through the aisles of a store a major undertaking as your child sees all the things they simply must have? 

An easy tool for a child that wants every thing they see in the store is to take a picture on your phone of the desired item. Often, the item will be forgotten once it’s no longer in sight. The things your child remembers enough to bring up later can be added to a wish list. From the wish list they can then really think about and choose what they most want.

We can also redirect the focus from all the things they are getting, to one of giving. By providing opportunites to share in the spirit of giving, they begin to focus outside themselves to what they can do for others. Some simple ideas are clearing out the toys they no longer play with to give to others, picking out or making gifts or cards, creating a holiday tree for the birds, or doing something special to help someone else. Point out how good it feels to make others happy too.

Big Conversations:

Reframe the Truth About Santa

Many parents love the magic of Santa and the joy that it brings. Others feel like they are lying to their child and that they’ll feel betrayed when they find out the “truth.”  It’s up to every family to decide what fits their family best, but with a little reframe, we can keep the magic alive, even as children grow up and begin to question the authenticity of the man in the red suit. 

By focusing on Santa as “the spirit of giving” with lots of helpers, as children begin to question we can invite them to share in the magic. When your child is ready to know the “truth,” invite them to join you for a special conversation. Explain that the spirit of giving that Santa represents is very, very real, and we too can be part of that magic. The unique magic of Santa is giving without any expectation in return. Invite them to become a Santa’s helper. Who do they know that would benefit from a little special love this time of year? This can mean making or purchasing a small gift to give to a friend anonymously, or secretly delivering a batch of cookies to a neighbor. If they have younger siblings, perhaps they can help “Santa” with some of the preparations. This strategy allows parents to reframe the potential disappointment of Santa not being “real” into the reality of a beautiful lesson about caring for others as they become part of the magic themselves.

Try This:

The Power of the "Do-Over"

For generations, parents were encouraged to appear as the absolute authority. Parents don't make mistakes so they had no reason to apologize to their children. The Guiding Mindset recognizes that respect between parents and children should go in both directions. One of the most powerful tools to build a strong, foundational relationship with your child is to practice “repair.” On a surface level, this is as simple as apologizing to your child when you aren’t in top form as a parent. Maybe you yelled, maybe you threatened something you know you won’t follow through on, maybe it was something else that put a chink in the metaphorical armor of your relationship with your child. Whatever happened, when everyone is calm again, sit your child down, offer a sincere apology and ask for a “do over.” This process not only helps us to reconnect with our child, it also offers them a powerful example of how to correct their own behavior and offer apologies to others. Then let them also ask for a “do over” when things don’t go quite right.

Some examples:

“Earlier, I was really upset and I yelled at you. I apologize for raising my voice. How about a do-over? In the future I will take a couple of deep breaths before we talk when I’m upset”. You can do that too when you’re upset.

“I told you that if you didn’t eat everything on your plate, I wouldn’t let you go outside to play after lunch. I’ve thought about that decision and realized I want you to listen to your body and eat what feels right. I’m sorry for not letting you go outside after lunch. You are welcome to go play now.”

Leave space in these conversations for your child to express how they feel and ask them if there’s anything they need from you.

The holidays can be a time of high stress and many of us have less patience as we try to get everything done. No parent is perfect! Making sure to practice repair with your children can help smooth over those less than ideal moments to resolidify your bond and connection.

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